Sexist Comments & Responses: Stereotypes and Undervaluing Women

Although sexist comments and remarks are prevalent and normalized in everyday conversation, public discourse, and virtually every other social setting throughout the world, researchers at the Utah Women & Leadership Project (UWLP) wanted to understand how women experience sexist comments in Utah. Here we present the results of an extensive study designed to collect and analyze both the wide variety of sexist comments Utah women experienced and the responses women made (or wish they had made) to such comments. The goal of this series is to educate both men and women on the many forms that conscious and unconscious sexist comments can take, from shocking statements to those that are more subtle. Additionally, we aim to equip women with the tools to confront the sexism they experience more successfully.  

Findings – Comments & Remarks 

Stereotypes 

The analysis of the responses within the Stereotypes theme produced six categories:  

1. Gender stereotypes (general): Generalizations about the characteristics and qualities of men and women based solely on their gender. For example, ““I overheard my supervisor tell the boss once that he wished they didn’t have to hire any women as women ‘just cause drama.’” 
2. Women should prioritize homemaker roles: Comments indicating that women’s highest priorities should be connected to marriage, motherhood, and homemaking. For example, “I was told no woman who had children under the age of 6 had any business being outside the home.” 
3. Women’s internalized sexism: Sexist beliefs/attitudes held by women about other women or about themselves. For example, “One woman said this to me at a football game (in complete earnestness): ‘Oh, I just love football. It’s like a microcosm of life. The women stand on the sidelines and cheer while the men are battling it out on the field.’” 
4. Motherhood penalty: Situations when women in professional settings are penalized (e.g., loss of opportunity, pay, advancement) once they become mothers. For example, “My male manager said, ‘You are not to be seen by clients while you are visibly pregnant.’” 
5. Benevolent sexism: Comments or behaviors that treat women differently in what seems to be a positive way but that can undermine or otherwise penalize them. For example, “I was told by a manager, ‘You are really smart for someone as pretty as you are.’” 
6. Double bind/double standard: Circumstances in which women are expected to exhibit or shun certain behaviors relating to gender stereotypes and are punished when behaving contrary to gender norms. For example, “I was told by a male manager, ‘As a woman, you are too aggressive.’” 

Undervaluing Women 

The analysis of the responses within the “Undervaluing Women” theme produced five categories:  

1. Undervaluing women’s contributions: The belief that women are less capable, intelligent, and competent than men solely due to their gender, including holding low expectations of women because of their gender. For example, “I was told that I could participate in a vendor meeting, but I should not comment. If I have information to share, I should talk to my male peer and have him provide my feedback.” 
2. Infantilizing/condescending: Comments in which women are treated as if they are children or otherwise need to be taken care of, including when men treat women as if they cannot take care of themselves. For example, “My boss makes comments such as, ‘I can’t believe your husband lets you have such a demanding job,’ and ‘What does your husband think of this?’” 
3. Assumed incompetence: Comments indicating the expectation that women are less competent or capable than men in various areas. For example, “He said, ‘I hired a woman, and she is doing a really good job. I never expected this. I might hire more.’” 
4. Sexist language/terms: The use of language that demeans women in a variety of ways. For example, “I’ve been called ‘hun,’ ‘sweetheart,’ and even ‘beautiful’ as a greeting from various employees, customers and clients.” 
5. “Affirmative Action” assumption: Comments that indicate the speaker believes women only achieved success or position due to a quota or affirmative action policy. For example, “A male manager said, ‘You were hired because we had to add a female, but you broke up our bromance.’” 

Findings – Responses 

Direct Responses: A majority of the women’s replies incorporated a direct response to the sexist comment. Some asked the commenter a question, while others provided information or education, offered a rebuttal, or used humor to respond.  
No Response: Women shared that many times they were so shocked or stunned that they did not say anything in response to the sexist comment. 
Internal Afterthoughts: Many participants reported responses they wish they had made, once they had time to reflect. These afterthoughts ranged from clever comebacks, to providing information, to wishing they had reported the comment. 
Indirect Response: In some cases, women responded to sexist comments indirectly, by changing the subject, laughing, or even agreeing with the commenter when they did not know how else to respond. 
Emotional Response: Next, some of the responses were designated as an emotional response. Women shared that they had felt ashamed, embarrassed, hurt or angry, or wished someone had stood up for them in the moment. 
Other Responses: In addition to the five categories of responses above, eight other types of responses emerged: discussed with others, experienced backlash, proved them wrong, reported to a superior, successful response, third-person response, unsuccessful response, and walked away. 

Conclusion and Recommendations 

The purpose of this brief series is twofold: First, we hope to educate readers on the various ways that language and related behaviors can demean and disempower women, especially for those who may not realize their words are problematic. Second, by showing the types of responses women make when confronted with sexist behavior, we aim to equip women with the tools they need to better combat the sexism they experience. Based on the findings of how Utah women experience sexist comments, we offer the following recommendations for women and male allies:  

• Prepare: In the moment, it can be difficult to think quickly enough to respond. Having a go-to phrase such as “What makes you say that?” can give you time and shifts the focus to the person to explain their thinking.  
• Take Action: When you hear offensive comments or jokes, push back (preferably within the first two to three seconds). Possible retorts include saying, “Ouch,” or, “We don’t do that here.”  
• Call Out the Behavior: When you observe a man repeatedly interrupting a woman, or when you see only women being asked to take on “office housework” such as note taking, point it out and offer an alternative.  

Speaking up against sexism can be a powerful force for reducing gender inequity. Further, being prepared about how to respond to everyday sexism can help women feel more confident in their interactions with others. By raising awareness of the widespread occurrence and damaging effects of sexist language, comments, beliefs, and behaviors, we hope to reduce the frequency of sexism in our homes, neighborhoods, communities, and the state as a whole.  

To learn more about sexist comments and responses regarding stereotypes, read the full brief and to learn more about sexists comments and responses regarding undervaluing women, read the full brief.